Rayni Risher

Lessons From a Bird Nest, Part 2

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Imagine the scene…Your 25 year old able-bodied son comes over for dinner. You’re excited to have him visit. He sits down at the table. As he recounts his day you cut the steak and vegetables on his plate into small pieces. You pick up the fork and begin to feed him, bite by bite, wiping his mouth often. Then you pick up his sippy cup and give him a drink. Does this scene sound familiar in your house? I certainly hope not! And yet metaphorically, it gets played out over and over in the church.

We Have to Learn to Feed Ourselves
Recently I shared about the baby birds I watched grow up in a nest under the eaves of my home. (Read it here) The newborn babies were frequently fed by their parents. As the baby birds grew and matured they learned to use their wings to fly. Then they learned how to hunt for food and feed themselves on a daily basis. They have now left the nest and someday soon they will likely have their own babies. The adult birds will be responsible to feed themselves and their little ones until the new babies mature and the cycle is repeated. 

This model can be likened to our spiritual journey. When we’re new believers we are often fed much of our biblical truth by others, not having our own solid foundation to stand on. Then slowly we learn to feed ourselves through reading the Bible, prayer, service, worship, and remaining in Jesus (John 15). As we become more mature it is still good, helpful and encouraging for others to teach us but we mostly “feed ourselves” from our own time seeking God. If we want a truly vibrant relationship with God, we have to remain in Him daily…not just one hour a week on Sunday mornings. Ideally, as we grow and mature we should be taking someone else under our wing as a disciple to help them to grow, like Jesus did.

But sometimes we get stuck in the spiritual “baby stage”. All we want is for someone else to feed us, pray for us, tell us what we should do, tell us what the Bible says. It seems easier that way because we don’t have to be fully responsible for ourself and our decisions. As one blogger put it, Babies are immature physically and mentally, but we expect them to develop. If they don’t, there is a problem. The same is true for followers of Jesus. We are supposed to be maturing in our spiritual walk, becoming more like Jesus. How can we do that if we don’t really even know what the Bible says? If we’re constantly relying on others to meet our basic spiritual needs? Paul admonished the “infantile” Hebrews:

“By this time you ought to be teachers yourselves, yet here I find you need someone to sit down with you and go over the basics on God again, starting from square one—baby’s milk, when you should have been on solid food long ago! Milk is for beginners, inexperienced in God’s ways; solid food is for the mature, who have some practice in telling right from wrong.”(Hebrews 5:12-14)

It’s Time to Put on Your Big Kid Pants
Here’s the thing….we need you! The church needs you and the world needs you. If you stay spiritually immature you aren’t living out the potential God created in you. God gave you a particular personality and gifts to glorify Him and reach out to others. We need your gifts, your wisdom, your maturity. We need you to be healthy in your marriage, modeling to your kids what God teaches, living out the wisdom of God’s words in your life, helping others to grow more like Jesus, sharing the good news of eternal life.

This week let’s begin doing the things we need to do in order to grow and mature spiritually so we can fully be who God created us to be and bring as much glory to Him as we possibly can! I encourage you to spend time daily reading the Bible, praying, listening for God’s voice, worshiping Him, serving others. As we do these things we will be encouraged and we will also find that we are automatically growing spiritually, just like a branch connected to the Vine.

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Are You A Disciple Or A Spectator?

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Have you ever climbed to the top of a steep mountain or hill? It can be tiring and daunting with potential hazards along the way. It takes time and it also takes a commitment to not only start the climb but to keep climbing all the way to the top, even when it’s difficult. At times our faith journey can feel like a long, steep upward climb, can’t it? But we can trust that if we’re following Jesus up the mountain, He will bring refreshing and that something beautiful will result from the difficulty of the climb.

Something like this happened in Matthew 5:1-2: “When Jesus saw His ministry drawing huge crowds, He climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to Him, the committed, climbed with Him. Arriving at a quiet place, He sat down and taught His climbing companions.” 

Crowds Don’t Always Mean Commitment
Jesus was aware that His ministry was drawing large crowds. The people had heard that this Jesus from Nazareth healed sick people, cast out demons, spoke with authority, and a large number of the people wanted to see this “show”. Most probably wouldn’t and didn’t want to make a radical commitment. They just wanted to hang around. Others were there in desperation to seek out healing and deliverance from Jesus—they wanted something from Him and then would return to their normal life. A smaller amount of people were there who were genuinely committed to being Jesus’ disciples, or apprentices. They were in it for the long haul.

Before He delivered one of His most talked about teachings to this day, I think Jesus wanted to see who was really with Him. He probably knew only the truly spiritually hungry would follow Him anywhere, even up a hill. The others—the less devoted—would just wait around for Him at the bottom. Wait for “the show” to resume when Jesus came back down. Those who were committed climbed with Him.

Worth the Climb
When you make a decision to go the distance with Jesus, to follow Him through the obstacles, rough patches, continue even when it’s a difficult climb, He brings you to a place where you can sit down and rest with Him and hear Him tell you something only the faithful followers got to hear. I think Jesus also wanted to get above the noise of the crowd, to a quieter place where the people who genuinely wanted to hear Him could do so without the distraction of the non-committed stragglers.The revelation from Jesus’ mouth and the time spent resting with Him was worth the momentary hardship of the climb. 

So…
Are you the committed disciple of Jesus, the spectator who wants to see a show, or somewhere in between? Are you willing to go the distance to get to that quiet place with Jesus, where you can more easily hear His voice above the din of the jostling crowd? I encourage you this week to take time to “Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at Me, your High God….above everything.” (Psalm 46:10). And if you’re in the middle of a difficult stretch of the mountain…just keep going! One foot in front of the other, trusting that God will meet you there with the wisdom and refreshing only He can give.

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Help! I’m an Introvert with Extroverted Spiritual Gifts

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Hi, my name is Rayni and I’m an introvert.

I used to attend Introverts Anonymous, but usually no one would show up and if they did they didn’t want to talk. (Okay, that was joke). But being introverted is a serious business that many people don’t understand. In college I lived in a dorm on the top floor. Many mornings I chose to walk down the seven flights of stairs just so I didn’t have to say hello to anyone in the elevator. Today, if I see you in the grocery store and you haven’t seen me first, I will most likely immediately turn and walk in the opposite direction with great gusto so I don’t have to talk to you; even though I may like you.

What I’ve just shared probably sounds a bit odd or even mentally ill to all of those bustling extroverts out there. But I know the introverts are tracking with me. So, what is an introvert to do when God has clearly given you spiritual gifts that require interacting with people? You know, those “pesky” gifts like teaching, counseling and leadership that require you to be in front of or with people rather than behind the scenes?

Take Short Trips Out of Your Comfort Zone
After college I worked for two years at a church as a Campus Pastor. Looking back it is my favorite job I’ve had but at the time it was a bit overwhelming as an introvert. I regularly interacted with college students, led services and preached sermons when the pastor was away; and mentored, counseled, and prayed with students. It was a great growth experience but I found that I was continually living outside of my comfort zone with all of this “other people required” interaction.

I’ve learned that it’s a good thing to sometimes step outside your comfort zone, especially when God is leading you to.That’s where you grow. But if you constantly live outside your comfort zone its easy to go into survival mode rather than abundant life mode. Learning how to have healthy boundaries in this area will help you to live fully in the gifts God has given you.

Fill Up on God’s Strength
It’s no joke that God is full of limitless strength (Psalm 147:5) and that He wants to partner with us in using the gifts He created in us. God is glorified when we are authentically who He created us to be. I continually rely on God’s grace and strength to help me step through any fear associated with using my gifts. I invite God into the situation, ask Him for wisdom, guidance and help. He always comes through. He’s reliable like that. And it’s for His glory anyway. So, don’t be afraid to step out with God to use your gifts even if you’re feeling weak. God’s not weak. And I seem to remember some guy named Paul talking about how God’s grace is sufficient in our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

It Is What You Make It
If I let myself get psyched out about walking up to someone new at church and striking up a conversation, I will probably make a last minute turn into the restroom to avoid them. But if I just relax, don’t think about it too much and simply say hello, more times than not it turns out just fine. In my heart I want to reach out and be welcoming. Sometimes I let my introvert tendencies get in the way, and often I reach out anyway.

I am always glad when I get past my issues and do the things God has placed in my heart to do. You can talk yourself out of doing something good or you can just step out and do the thing. It is what you make it. That goes with walking in the other extroverted gifts God has given me as well. As soon as I surrender it to God, and take that first step through the fear, my heart comes alive with doing what God created me to do. There is much joy in that. And there is much triumph in trusting God enough to make that first step.

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Lessons From a Bird Nest, Part 1

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Last month I noticed a bird trying to build a nest in a corner under the eaves of my home. He’d find some twigs, fly up to the eave and delicately try to wedge the tiny branches between the wood and a supporting wire underneath. And each time he failed. Flight after flight. Twig after twig. Day after after. Each day when I walked outside I noticed his failure as I stepped over a smattering of small branches and brush on the concrete.

I prayed, God, help this little bird to build the nest he needs.

And then finally, a few days later as I looked out the window I saw that the bird had built a robust nest under the eave. Shortly after that I noticed another bird—presumably the momma bird–sitting in the nest as the daddy bird sat on a wire nearby, diligently fending off other birds who flew a little too close to the nest. Not long after three babies were born and I have had the joy of watching them grow up over the last few weeks. They have gone from tiny tweets, to open mouths waiting for food to be dropped in, to larger birds sitting on the edge of the nest, practicing flapping their wings…and still crying like babies when it’s feeding time.

And that nest has amazingly weathered major winds and rain storms.

Let God Be the Builder
Watching the bird originally try to build the nest made me think of Psalm 127:1,“Unless the Lord builds a house,
the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.” (NLT) God is our provider in all things. Even our very breath comes from God. He always wants to partner with us in the work He is doing by giving us specific tasks to do. That way it’s our story, too…not just His.

But unless God is the foundation and the builder of what we are creating, we’re laboring in vain. It’s so easy to think that we know better than God and to take any idea—especially one that promotes ourselves—and run with it. But God may have something else in mind for you. A different road. A different timing. And at the least, a desire for you to be surrendered to Him in all of it, moving with His rhythm rather than your own. Why? Because God is wisdom. And going in the way of wisdom is always the best road to take.

When we build something ourselves it will eventually fall apart. When God is behind it, it will survive and thrive!

So….
+What have you been trying desperately to build on your own that is falling apart because you’re trying to do it your own way or it isn’t led by God?

+Are you willing to surrender every part of yourself and your life to God and ask Him to be the builder?

Prayer
God, thank you for caring about every small and large detail of my life. You are good and nothing can separate me from Your immeasurable love. I fully surrender myself and my dreams to You. I want You to be the originator and builder of everything I do. Help me to follow Your lead, rather than my own selfish ways. In Jesus’ Name.

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Five Marriage Lessons From A Newlywed

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I’ve been married just shy of two years and I’m about to offer you some marriage advice. I can almost guess what you might be thinking….Well, that’s sweet but what does a newlywed who is supposed to be perpetually lost on a puffy white cloud of wedded bliss truly know about being married anyway? While I will surely learn much more, a few things have clarified in my short time as a wife. Whether you have been married for two weeks or 40 years, these lessons relate to every relationship. So, please indulge this silly newlywed for a moment while I share five important lessons I have learned so far from marriage.

Lesson One: Be Willing To Get Counsel
Marriage counseling can be so important to the health of a marriage. Whether you had pre-marriage counseling or not it’s essential for both spouses to willingly acknowledge problems as they arise and to learn to work through them in a healthy way. Sometimes that means taking time to meet with a godly and trusted counselor to help you work it through. It does not mean “complain about your marriage to all your girlfriends and get their two cents.” Godly counsel will help you grow to be more like Jesus and will help you apply and live out biblical wisdom in your marriage.

Lesson Two: Learn to Communicate Well
Men are often given a hard time about being poor communicators. But the same can be true of women. We may talk more but it’s not always in a constructive manner! I am blessed that my husband is open to communicating and working through issues in a mature way. When we have a disagreement we don’t scream at each other and throw things. Rather, we talk about it and work through it together as a team. I’m open to him speaking into my life, and the same is true of him. Even if you or your spouse aren’t the best communicators, you can learn to communicate well. The first steps to learning are humbling yourself and admitting that there is room to grow in this area.

Lesson Three: Choose Respect
Because of God’s grace in helping me to become more emotionally healthy before I got married, I am able to show genuine respect to my husband. He also shows respect to me by listening to and valuing my opinions. When we are mad at each other or feeling emotionally hurt, we give the other some space and then talk it through. Many years ago my normal anger default would be to yell and say something mean-spirited. But even when I am tempted to do that now, I hold my tongue. Why? Because my husband never yells or says mean things to me so I want to show him at least the same amount of respect that he shows me. If you want to show respect for your spouse, you have to grow up. Take name-calling and spiteful behavior out of the equation. Remember, respect is a choice.

Lesson Four: Serve Your Spouse
When both people in a marriage regularly look for ways to serve the other then each person’s needs are regularly met. You and your spouse both have genuine needs. Some of those needs only God can meet. Other needs are meant to be met by your spouse. If one person is consistently giving while all the other does is constantly take, making it a one-sided experience, trouble will arise. But if both of you are regularly giving and receiving, each will have what they need from the other to be content in the marriage.

Lesson Five: Always Put Your Spouse’s Best Foot Forward in Public (and in Private!)
It’s universally awkward to hear someone say something mean or embarrassing about their spouse in public, even if they are “joking”. Often their spouse is not present but sometimes they are standing right next to them. This can only bring harm to a marriage. Make it a point to be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader…to everyone! This extends to family life as well. Compliment your spouse in front of your kids, to your extended family, to your friends. When you are alone together regularly tell your spouse how special they are. This goes a long way in showing love and respect and in bolstering your relationship to withstand difficult times.

One Size Does Not Fit All
Everyone has their own marriage experience…mine may be quite different from yours. Before I was married a friend told me, “Marriage is hard. It’s mostly working through difficult issues and every now and then you get a moment of enjoyment, but most of the time it’s hard.” Contrast that with another friend who told me, “If you feel like you have to work at marriage then you’ve married the wrong person.”

Hmm….talk about conflicting advice! While each marriage is different, I believe putting into practice the five lessons I shared with you can make every marriage happier and healthier. If you are married and haven’t already been practicing these suggestions, make a decision to begin. Even if your spouse isn’t on board yet you can start by being intentional about doing your part in making your marriage a better environment.

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